by Ade Walker
I was taught that a full cup cannot be filled. When people are filled with negativity and their needs, saying, “I and nothing else”, there is not room for fulfillment. When we empty ourselves before something greater than ourselves, then we allow much more, then our limited capacity. I want to help you learn how to be filled with the outcomes you want to possess. Do you constantly strive, but never seem to obtain your desired outcomes? If this is the case, you may be living in what is called the outcome gap. The outcome gap is the space in between what you wish to happen and what actually happens to you. Do you also see a disparity between what you have planned and what is your reality? This means you have a performance gap. We all know what it is like to have holes in our desires and achievements. However, what does it take to turn those problem areas around? In short, it is awareness. Awareness involves seeing things for what they really are. Yet, if one only looks at appearances then they could get depressed and oppressed, far away from fulfillment. Instead, we must learn the previously given advice of emptying ourselves of negativity, which prevents our overall success. Many of us have experienced a low state of awareness due to blind spots; (areas about our lives we cannot see); unfinished business, (issues from our past that stunt our growth); or impaired self-image and physical issues.
So how do we begin to think in a positive way as we move forward towards fulfillment? We must change our frame of mind! According to Dr. Mark Chironna, “A frame of mind is a complex mental structure that you use to organize and simplify your knowledge of the world around you. It is your learned concepts and constructs which contains unquestioned beliefs, values, and judgments that you use when inferring meaning on something that has happened or is happening to us in life”, i.e. lost job, lost loved one. Your frame of mind answers the questions, “Why is this happening? How do I deal with this issue? Where is/what is God doing? Research tells us “learning and growth does not happen when we just add positive thoughts. It happens for us effectively when we challenge negative thoughts.” When you do not reach your goals and only experience heartache in what happens to you, then you have developed a negative frame of mind. This simply means that you must change your explanatory style; it is how you describe to yourself about the things that PUSH you--Phenomenon—Unexplained Events--Situations—Happenings. If your awareness is grounded in appearances then things that look negative (low income, lack of education, unhealthy relationships, etc.), cause you to fill your life with the poison of negativity. If you walk by faith, then your frame of mind tells you that “all things are working together for my good” and each experience is a learning one.
In other words, what you are experiencing in terms of happenings and circumstances mirror your mood and motivations. Say you are having issues with your spouse, and the symptoms are dissatisfaction, loss of finances, etc. Does that reflect who you really are? Are you really a disappointment, poor, and broken or is that just a current reality that must be changed in your mind and then behavior? I believe in you and know that just because you faced setbacks does not mean you are worthless. So let me give you the top three keys to developing awareness in your life, which is a key step towards fulfillment:
1. Be aware of the facts. Write down what you want (desires); what you plan to do (intentions); and what motivates you up (passions).
2. Be aware of the feelings. Write down your emotions and realize that they only define you if you let them.
3. Be aware of the friends/family. Share what you have written with people that know you well and can hold you accountable with your goals.
By developing greater awareness, you move towards greater destiny because you were designed to be fulfilled! Remember your FulfillMentor is in your corner!